


Sometimes When We Touch

by sodamnrad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, F/M, Hogwarts Era, Hogwarts Sixth Year, POV Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodamnrad/pseuds/sodamnrad
Summary: What if Hermione and Draco were dating when he took the Dark Mark?Submission for the Silly Loves Songs Mini-FestOne shot | Draco's POV | Sixth Year
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22
Collections: Silly Love Songs





	Sometimes When We Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Silly_Love_Songs](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Silly_Love_Songs) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>    
> Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
> 
> While this song is a tad too cheesy for my tastes, I read the lyrics and thought I could do something angsty with them. Definitely a fun and different challenge. 
> 
> Thanks to my lovely Betas [Vertigo-Finch](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/13810200/) and [absolutefem](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/9920744/) for giving this a quick once over before I submitted.

_You ask me if I love you  
And I choke on my reply  
I'd rather hurt you honestly  
Than mislead you with a lie_

“You didn’t! Oh, Draco, say you didn’t!” Tears glisten on her bright, red cheeks, catching the light of the moon. She shoves my arm into my gut. Shoves again, harder. I stumble and nearly topple over a tree stump. “How could you? HOW COULD YOU!”

“What do you expect? For me to just say _no_ to the fucking Dark Lord? Have you lost the plot, Hermione?”

“I would’ve expected you to fight. But no, you’re just a fucking coward like you’ve always been.” She looks away, lips tightly pursed.

My fingers itch to shake her. “I am fighting! I’m trying to protect my family.”

“What about me?” she says, “What about _us_? Don’t you love me even a little after all this time?”

I sigh deeply, her tears have always made me achy. But I don't lie when I say-, “I love my family more.”

She doesn’t look surprised, but we both flinch when she says, “Goodbye, Draco.”

_And who am I to judge you  
On what you say or do?  
I'm only just beginning to see the real you_

The members of her trio’s precious DA look at her like she is the key to their salvation. She is nearly as idolized as Saint Potter himself. But how could anyone be surprised? She likely will be their salvation.

She and I were never meant to be, we defied all laws of the universe. She was the Sun, I was the Moon, and our solar eclipse has passed. 

_Romance and all its strategy  
Leaves me battling with my pride_

“Professor Slughorn, I caught this boy lurking in the corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party.”

I jerk in his grip but Filch is surprisingly strong. “Okay, okay I was gate-crashing. _Happy_?” 

I shouldn’t give a flying fuck. I’m supposed to murder a man – no, not a man. The most powerful wizard in existence. No _fucking_ problem.

But she– 

She’s _mine,_ damn it!

 _I_ own her heart.

I could walk right over to that piece of shit Gryffindor and tell him to take his grubby hands off my girl. She’d come with me because she misses me. 

_She has to._

_But through the insecurity  
Some tenderness survives_

Snape’s cloak floats behind him as he vanishes down the corridor. He has given me a thorough scolding. When I look at my hand, I see it shake. I hold it still with the other. 

“Draco!”

Bloody hell.

“Draco, what _was_ that?” Her brow furrows. A moment of hesitation as she raises her hand. “Draco?”

I crumble.

Shameful tears buried into the crook of her neck. Her scent hits me so hard that my knees buckle. The jumper she returned smelled like her for weeks until it didn’t anymore.

All the good things in my life vanish.

“It’s alright. Draco, I’m here.”

I inhale deeply. Tomorrow, she’ll be the Sun and I’ll be the Moon- but this eclipse is mine. 

_I'm just another writer  
Still trapped within my truth  
A hesitant prize fighter  
Still trapped within my youth_

I say to the stormy sky, “Why can’t you just give the old man a heart attack? Throw me a fucking bone.”

No stars to be seen, but they’re out there somewhere. Bleak stories woven into deceiving constellations.

Why me?

I’m not Potter nor do I want to be. I don’t need the glory nor the praise in history books to come. Maybe I wanted it once, but I was a fucking fool.

I can’t kill him, and I can’t let him live.

_At times I'd like to break you  
And drive you to your knees_

He knows.

Potter knows and now he’s going to _fucking_ tell and I’m going to die.

I don’t recognize the boy across from me. He is cadaverous. Shadows, deep lines and eyes that shine too brightly but only see darkness.

Mother’s going to die.

Father’s going to die.

He’ll torture them because I failed.

Once he’s through and there’s nothing left of their souls, he’ll torture me. All because I couldn’t kill the old wizard myself.

And now Potter knows that I tried.

“Draco.”

My heart lunges to my throat.

 _She_ watches me through the reflection. “Leave me alone.”

“Leave you alone? _Leave_ _you alone?_ Do you know you almost killed an innocent girl? We know it was you, Draco. _I_ know it was you.”

Fuck. “Get lost, Hermione.”

“No, you don’t get to tell me to get lost. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re out of your bloody mind!”

“Yes, I am! I am out of my mind. What the fuck are you going to do about it?”

She slaps me. The noise echoes through the empty lavatory like taunting applause.

I pin her against frigid tiles. Her head makes a loud thud. She cries out, but fury blazes in her eyes. 

“Who are you!?” she screams, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m Draco _fucking_ Malfoy,” I say, “and I’m a Death Eater. You like that, Granger? You’re in love with your own enemy. Does that turn you on?”

“Screw you!” She struggles but I’m still stronger than her. “Let me go, you bastard.”

My grip tightens. We are so close that my lips graze her temple as I speak, “What did you expect me to say when you came in here? That I’ve changed my mind? That I’ll fight for _you_?”

A single tear trickles down her cheek. She says, “What if it had been me?”

“What?”

“What if you almost killed me? Would you even care?” She searches my face like she hopes to find a speck of redemption. A trace of the boy she used to love.

But he’s gone.

“No, I wouldn’t.”

_At times I'd like to break through  
And hold you endlessly_

I yank her into an empty classroom as she’s leaving the library. The fear in her eyes makes green apple bile emerge in my throat.

She tears herself out of my grip, wrenches her wand out and points it at me. “What the hell do you want?”

“Hermione,” I say. I’ve made her feel like she can’t trust me. She’s wise not to. But—, “I _lied_.”

“What?” Her lifted arm trembles.

I step forward, place a cautious hand on her wrist and lower it. “I lied before. If anything ever happened to you—"

I start over, “You’re the only girl that has ever mattered to me. Don't look at me like that anymore.”

Her eyes soften. “Draco, please stop doing this. We’ll go to Dumbledore together. We’ll find a way to get you out of this. _Please_.”

“I can’t. It doesn’t change anything,” I say. Taking her face to memory in three heartbeats. “I miss you, alright? Could I– hold you for five minutes?”

She’s crying again. We can’t have a single damned conversation without her tears.

Still, I go to her.

“You fuck with my head, Draco.”

“I know.”

“Five minutes,” she says.

_At times I understand you  
And I know how hard you've tried  
I've watched while love commands you  
And I've watched love pass you by_

I don’t believe in The Dark Lord’s cause. Everything I do is for my family. But it becomes harder every day.

I am helping him kill _her_.

Not immediately, not directly.

But ultimately, he’ll eradicate her too.

I pass Weasel and his new, giggly girlfriend. They stare at each other like they’re in the middle of a fairy tale and not on the brink of war. If I hadn’t interfered, maybe she would be in his arms, staring at him like that.

_At times I think we're drifters  
Still searching for a friend  
A brother or a sister  
But then the passion flares again_

A loud thump against the table has me scrambling for my wand.

Another set of books. Hermione’s settling into the chair across from mine. “Have you started Slughorn’s essay yet?”

I tuck my wand away. “Just about to.”

“Great, let’s divide the research and share notes. I’m absolutely bombarded by assignments and could use the help.”

Most of the tables at the library are empty. “Granger, have you experienced memory loss?”

“No,” she replies. The corners of her lips turn into a semblance of a smile. “But I’d like to after hearing Lavender call Ron _Won-Won_ for the thousandth time. Have you noticed?”

“It’s positively nauseating,” I say.

“Imagine I called you Dray-Dray, wouldn’t you just love that?”

I pretend to vomit next to my seat. She laughs in earnest. It is the first laugh in months. 

_And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you til I die  
Til we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides_

The painting glides open and Hermione emerges in pyjamas. “Draco, what is it?” 

“Hermione, listen to me,” I say, “They’re coming tonight.”

“W-what?”

“Everything’s going to change after tonight.” I stroke her cheek, barely recognizing my own voice as I say, “Don’t do anything brave or stupid, yeah? Just get the fuck out of here.”

Her shoulders broaden, a flame ignites in her eyes. She says, “You know I can’t do that.”

I do, but am aggrieved to hear it. “Be careful then, it’s not the same as dueling sixteen-year-olds at your little meetings.”

“I _know_ that.” She begins to turn. “I have to tell the others.”

“Wait.” I reach for her forearm. “Hermione, just wait a fucking second.”

She opens her mouth to speak but I kiss her with too much force.

This won’t be the last time I hold her. It won’t. But if it is– 

She melts into me like old times. 

Her fingers clutch at my robes, she parts her mouth to taste me. Must decide she likes it because she takes her time as if there’s plenty to spare. 

I am forced to pull away.

She clutches at the front of my shirt, “Don’t go, Draco. Stay with me. I’ll forgive everything you’ve done. I’ll stand by you through all of it. You won’t be alone, you’ll have me. _Stay_.”

She becomes blurry as I stare. “I love you, Hermione.”

“No, Draco!” She’s reaching for me but I’m already sprinting down the corridor.

Maybe someday, we’ll fall into each other’s orbits again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find sodamnrad on other platforms [here](https://linktr.ee/sodamnrad/).


End file.
